Away for a While

I have been absent from this space for a while....because I am busy with my life or my work, or rather I am too lazy.

I have been away from my friends for a while as well and the reason is the same.

I don't say it, but I am really guilty. I have dreamed about my friends and the scences that when I meet them, I would be really ashamed. But still I keep myself away from them.

I don't know why. I just want to be along, to be absent from the outside world. I want to be myself, without any outside solid influence on me, especially from those who know me well. Maybe I want to transform, to surprise.

I have been thinking about future. I have experienced well with the old model and convinced the world I have the ability to play such and such roles. But when I am along, I want to show to myself that I can be a completely different person. So I dream, talk to myself in really private languages, watch movies, and read stories. Yes, change and newness are what I desire now.

All my friends must be missing me. Appreciated. I will be there when I am really ready.