Integrity at Risk

I am working. Very busy. The work itself is a challenge for me, at least at this moment.
I am a person believing in integrity. But when I step to the work, I have to learn to be social, or to be practically end-driven. And when the end is all, everything else would not get a second thought.
Personal efforts count, people skills count, and persistence counts. I haven't made my best because of the hesitance to exchange personal integrity with something else. How to value and keep my integrity becomes a issue ever more important for my future perspective about my career path. And I am wondering about the value of the work.
I suddenly find when writing this message that the best way to keep my integrity and make self-development is that I acquire good people skills, make ever more efforts and be persistent enough. Only in this way can I be able to make job done without bring damage to my integrity.
I remember there is a wise comment of Zhang Juzheng: To use tactics for selfless purposes and make friends not for self benefits. Follow this principle, and I will not be guilty of any blame.

Really love writing something. A great way to collect my thoughts and invite some enlightening ideas.

Lazy? -Never!

To be lazy is the best way of self-destruction.
I shall think, act and rest.
Reluctant to do any of them is bad.
To rest, in particular, is not paid attention to adequately.
I can do something continually for many hours without a break.
That is not wise.
Because it will dumb my mind and damage my health.

CEO Blog - Time Leadership: Now is the Time for Great Leadership

CEO Blog - Time Leadership: Now is the Time for Great Leadership

Away

Haven't been here for a while as I have lived lousily during the national holiday and lived nervously in this week.
Finally I am "in the swim" but I still have a lot to learn. The business is tough and needs a lot of creativity and nerves. Hope I can adapt to it in the next week with a complete success.
I have made progress, amazingly. And I am really proud of myself. The initial step is not easy, as always. And I like to walk the hard way. Since life is short and can easily becomes sour and boring, why not take a brand new outlook and a no-way way to leave a unique trail.
I find this business exciting as well. When I get the information, the satisfaction is beyond normal level. I have seen the thrill among others as well. They find the key contact and close the deal, and they just become crazily excited and satisfied and gain more confidence and determination.
I don't know how long I will be in this business. I really want to be somebody in the term's true sense.

Alone

I am alone now. My Girl has returned to her parents', so have my friends. After all, this is a precious union time--a 7-day holiday celebrating the establishment of our People's Republic.
I chose to stay. Though I miss my mother and father badly, I feel obligated to stay here. Father and mother will forgive me.
This month passed rapidly. In hindsight, I had done nothing really worth mentioning. I read a few books, saw a few movies, dealt with a few trivialities. The days seemed to have been idled away.
I spent a quite huge chunk of the time surfing the net, which proved to be an effective way to kill time. I was constantly excited with new foundings: ebooks, videos, tutorials, and motivational bloggs. I really want to immerse myself in them. And they are surely a vast sea for me to swime and I even got drowned sometimes. When reading and surfing, I forgot the meals and sleep, let along the natural call to pee. The act would engender my health!
I still like the feeling of being devoted to the readings, a sense of belonging. But as days pass, I found I didn't afford any more to do that any more. Health complained. My sense of time was even twisted. I began to fear sunshine outside. (Sun cannot throw light into my dorm.)
Once more, I was reminded of the value of plan. I must make a plan to read those countless stuff. Otherwise, I only learn less, not more.

The bold one

This morning I met with one of my dearest friends. He has been a employer for 2.5 years though 1 year younger than me. Comparing to his life, mine has been quite simple.
We became close when we were still high-schoolers. And the time we spent together was mainly during the high school period. He drew me with his boldness which was real recklessness sometimes, and his persistence.
At first, his credit was good but later became quite unsatisfactory. The reason I years later know was because of his family. His father and mother were having a bad time and his father endured physical damage and turned to alcohol. To complement for his bad academic performance, he intended to get more chance to enter a university by practicing running. If he could be accepted as a competent runner, he would get a better chance. I saw how he ran. It was a rather moving scene. He ran without any hint of tiredness like a robot even after several miles.
But he was not lucky and finally accepted by a less known college. During that time, he changed a lot and became more determined in his boldness. He would intrude into the zoo through the wall, an action that would be severely punished if caught.
When he graduated, he got his job by walking into the company and asked for an interview, which was not adopted by most graduates as the way was a rather imprudent one and could readily incur rejections.
He is now confused about his future. He is not so close with his girlfriend. He cannot see his prospect in his current position. He is trying to find a new breakthrough.
Comparing to him, I am more prudent and focused. I told him to be careful in his actions and find his own goal. Other than that, I have noting to say. I love his boldness which has helped him through all the life struggles he had to face personaly. He was not happy with his poor family. But now he is supporting it. He didn't expect to be in his position and now he is not satisfied by the bureacracy there and seeks a change. He had been nice to girlfriend but was treated badly by his girlfriend's parents. Now he is confident to seek their apology.
Whatever his future will be, he certainly would not be willingly constrained by his status quo. His boldness is great weapon. He believes in his ability to make his life right. The miserable past and inequality he endured only fuels his determination to explore a better future.
Good luck.

The Plan

Life with a goal was desirable for some but not for me. I have lived my life with a purpose: self-realization. The purpose was not definite, which can be as bad as none if no passion and enthusiam for expooration is there in me.
In the last month, I am constantly lost in my expoloration. As to my career objective, I have taken that it is best for me to continue in a peopole business, the area aboundant with opportunities and excitements since I will be able to contact different lifestyles. My strength in this business is my communication skills and personality, i.e. I am good at dealing with people, socially and linguistically. I have made a few lifelong friendships. The friends I have are very devoted in me. They know that I am trustworthy and valuable and inspirational, with a great vision in this life. I major in language, which have facilitated my communication process.
Now, I am decided to be more invovled in social activities. And the commnication skills I have always been proud of seem not adequate. I must learn and practice more.
Books are books. What's in them are worthless if not applied in real world. I like philosophy and psycology and novels. Those three terms are interchangeable for me because they are all about human life, which is the ultimate truth of my existence.

Moonlight of the Full Moon

When the moon is full, its bright light transports a sense of peace, unity, harmony and intimacy to us. Tomorrow is a big day for the traditional Chinese. It's Zhongqiujie, the Mid-Autumn Festival, according to the lunar calendar. On this day, those who are away from home shall return home and unite with their family. When the evening arrives, the moon is bright and full like a round jady plate. The family would place a table in their garden, and fruits and dishes would be served. Mooncakes are indispensable. The scene is fantastic with the family, the dishes, the moonlight, the moon, the night sky and the amiable air. Chinese love this day because we are family-oriented. Adults work hard to raise the family and children are raised to honor the family. Ps.
Interestingly, YUEGUANG, 'moonlight' in Chinese, also means that the salary is spent in the month without any left for deposit. And 'moonlight' in English is also used to mean to work at another job, often at night, in addition to one's full-time job.

[NYTimes Article]The Key to Wedded Bliss? Money Matters

IF you ask married people why their marriage works, they are probably not going to say it’s because they found their financial soul mate.
But if they are lucky, they have. Marrying a person who shares your attitudes about money might just be the smartest financial decision you will ever make. In fact, when it comes to finances, your marriage is likely to be your most valuable asset — or your largest liability.
Marrying for love is a relatively recent phenomenon. For centuries, marriages were arranged affairs, aligning families for economic or political purposes or simply pooling the resources of those scraping by.
Today, while most of us marry for romantic reasons, marriage at its core is still a financial union. So much of what we want — or don’t want — out of life boils down to dollars and cents, whether it’s how hard we choose to work, how much we consume or how much we save. For some people, it’s working 80-hour weeks to finance a third home and country club membership; for others, it means cutting back on office hours to spend more time with the family.
“A lot of the debates people have about money are code for how we want to live our lives,” said Betsey Stevenson, assistant professor of business and public policy at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School, who researches the economics of marriage and divorce. “A lot of the choices we make in how we want to live our lives involve how we spend our money.”
Making those choices as a team is one of the most important ways to preserve your marital assets, and your union, experts say. But it’s that much easier when you already share similar outlooks on money matters — or when you can, at the very least, find some middle ground.
The economies achieved by pairing up are fairly obvious. However, the costs of divorce can be financially devastating, especially when children are involved. And, not surprisingly, money manages to force a wide wedge between many couples.
“Most people think people break up over sex issues and children issues — and those are issues — but money is a huge factor in breaking up marriages,” said Susan Reach Winters, a divorce lawyer in Short Hills, N.J.
Not everyone is married to a financial twin, and that’s not necessarily a problem. There are several ways that you and your significant other can become more compatible, and ultimately more prosperous, when it comes to money.
These guidelines are compiled from the successfully married and from experts on psychology, divorce and finance:

TALK AND SHARE GOALS
Before walking down the aisle, couples should have a talk about their financial health and goals. They should ask each other tough questions: Do we want children? When? Who will care for them? Will they go to public or private school? What kind of life do we want? When will we retire?
“In my ideal plan for couples, they would have a meeting every week on their finances,” said Karen Altfest, a financial planner who runs the New York firm L. J. Altfest & Company, with her husband, Lewis. “That way, they are in sync with each other’s goals.”
Set those goals together. Jerry Ballard, 58, a former insurance executive in Houston, said that he and his wife of 36 years, Susan, also 58, managed to avoid money clashes because they share a savings philosophy. “The cardinal rule was that we don’t interrupt our savings,” he said, adding that they saved between 10 and 20 percent of their salaries each year. As long as they did that, they were less likely to disagree about spending.
Eric Gundlach, 53, of Owings Mills, Md., who has been married for 29 years, said he and his wife, Ann-Michele, “made our expectations explicit.” These included sending their son to private school and having big experiences, like traveling, in lieu of purchasing things.

RUN A HOME LIKE A BUSINESS
Make a budget and keep track of earnings, expenses and debts. And structure your business as a partnership; when it comes to making big financial decisions and setting goals, do it together. “When they are making the decisions together, they really have ownership of those decisions and any results of those decisions,” said Mary Ann Sisco, national wealth adviser at JPMorgan’s private wealth management division. “Even if you have negative results, you tend to weather the storm better.”
Share responsibilities, too. Though one partner tends to control the finances, advisers recommend rotating tasks. One person should handle investments for a certain period, while the other pays the bills; rotate and repeat.

BE SUPPORTIVE OF CAREERS
Having a supportive partner helps you professionally, which should trickle down to your mutual bottom line. “Marrying the right person helps you succeed in your career through encouragement and support, the only kind of support that comes through a supportive, intimate relationship,” said Mr. Gundlach, whose wife backed his decision to start a management consulting practice after 22 years as a human resources executive.

ENJOY, BUT WITHIN REASON
Create a cash cushion, and live a lifestyle you can sustain. Many people who were working at hedge funds that went bust or financial firms like Bear Stearns are learning these lessons now. Ms. Sisco, of JPMorgan, said that because her younger clients haven’t experienced a downturn, they assumed the money would keep pouring in.
She said she is working with one couple in their early 30s who have two young children. Right before the husband lost his job on Wall Street, the couple had ordered $35,000 drapes. They had to move to a smaller apartment in Manhattan and had to sell their vacation home.

USE A MEDIATOR
Perhaps both of you have strong yet divergent opinions about how to invest. Or maybe you are a saver while your spouse prefers to hand over a big piece of earnings to Bavarian Motor Works. An independent third party, whether a financial planner or a therapist, can help you find a middle ground.
Marc B. Schindler, a financial planner at Pivot Point Advisors in Bellaire, Tex., recently did this for a client who complained that his wife spent a thousand dollars a month on her wardrobe. Mr. Schindler then contacted the wife, who said her husband spent just as much on dinner with his buddies. So the husband asked Mr. Schindler to show how much they would save if they invested the $12,000 she spent each year. Mr. Schindler — careful to title the report “Clothing, Dinner or Invested?” — ran an analysis and found that the couple would have $1.6 million after 28 years, assuming a 9 percent rate of return. “They are going to try and compromise,” he said.

MAINTAIN SOME INDEPENDENCE
Pooling resources is important, but so is maintaining a degree of financial independence. Carve out some money for both partners to spend on things that make them happy. And when paring back, it’s essential that each person make sacrifices.
INVEST IN YOUR MARRIAGE Spend it — time and money — together. Go on dates. “What that does is enliven the marital foundation,” said Gary S. Shunk, a Chicago therapist who specializes in wealth issues. “It’s a kind of investment into the heart and soul of the relationship.”
Think of it as dollar-cost averaging your marriage, where you make small investments over time. If you wait until retirement, it could be too late.
Melanie Schnoll-Begun, a managing director in the Citigroup Family Office, worked with a couple that waited too long. The husband had amassed great wealth for the family, and his wife kept a beautiful home. But once the husband retired, “they found out that over the years they grew so far apart that they didn’t have enough in common,” she said.
“They had this magnificent wealth, and it was the building of this wealth that ultimately led to their divorce.”